So, I’m sitting here, trying to think up a good first line. I’ve written and thrown out a few, but nothing seems like it’s good enough to put up. I just keep thinking of my absolute favorite first line. The one that I’ll never forget and will measure all other first lines against.
“The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.” [1]
I’m impressed by this line because it’s simple. It doesn’t run on for three lines, stringing thoughts together with punctuation like beads on a thread.
I’m impressed by this line because it’s meaty. You meet two characters right away. One of them is running away. One of them is “bad” and the other is “the law” – though, I’ll admit this could be debatable. You get a sense for the environment.
I’m impressed by this line because the words are simple. All of the words are common. Two-thirds of them have a single syllable, the other third only two syllables.
I’m impressed by this line because it paints a picture. Instantly, you have some sense of what’s happening. The use of “followed” and not “chased” indicates a lack of urgency. The “man in black” isn’t just ahead of “the gunslinger”, he’s hours or days ahead of him. Maybe there’s just a black spec on the horizon, maybe it’s imagined. Whenever I hear “the gunslinger” I picture this grizzled old rawhide Clint Eastwood-type, flinty eyes staring out at the hardpan dryness ahead of him. A gun rests easily on his hip, a hat pulled low across his eyes. He turns his head and sends a small seed of moisture shooting towards the earth.
Ok, I’ll grant that I really know these characters because I’ve read the story more than once. I know what will happen. I know what “the gunslinger” looks like. I know who the “man in black” is. Yet, I still feel that this is a powerful beginning and I’ll continue to measure my work against it.
[1] The Gunslinger, by Stephen King – Book 1 of The Dark Tower
I have yet to read any of the books in this series, though I happened upon them through the recommendation of my neighbor and friend in Arizona. He handed me the first one when he had completed the final one after years of waiting for the conclusion. I read the first page of the first book and it sparked enough interest that someday I will get around to reading the series.
The point though is this: I read that line, and though I could not place, I knew these characters too and I knew this line. It is a beautifully written opening line, and everything you say it is, and I haven’t even read past the first page of the first book. Sometimes, an author gets it right. Once in rare while, an author creates a gem that in unequatable. This is one of those very such gems. Props!
Very nice analysis! It is a masterful first line, isn’t it. It is also one that needs no improvements – I think changing any word in it would be to its detriment.
Excellently put! That first line is how Zorak convinced me to read the series. What I truly appreciated was that King followed up with the same writing, and the characters are alive out there somewhere. Good stuff.
Amber A – I highly recommend reading the series. The first book can be a little rough at times, but the series is definitely worth it.
Amber – thanks. I agree that there’s nothing to be done to improve it. It reminds me of a quote from Antoine de Saint-Exuper – “Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”
Dy – Yes, I agree, the entire series backed up that first line. Even the ending (though there has been disagreement about it). I firmly believe that the series ended how it did because there is no other possible way for it to have ended and done justice to the story.
-Matt