Here’s two really cute ones of Gregory:
This is what happens when Gregory decides to stay up and watch a movie with his parents (he just flopped and fell asleep like this - he falls asleep as fast as his father does, once he’s ready!)
And here is Gregory, taking advantage of his opportunity. This is why I should not leave the box of O’s where he can reach it - especially not when I am distracted!
We have a visitor this weekend, and she’s really cute.
My parents are fostering her through ARF, a local animal rescue place, and we said we would take her for the weekend while they went up to Tahoe. The decided that with all the snow that is expected up there this weekend they might lose her in a snow drift. (My parents are funny - most people avoid the mountains when there is a storm coming, but they head up if at all possible. My mom likened their habits to those of tornado chasers. *grin*)
Emma loves having the dog around and Gregory thinks the dog is somewhat interesting, but doesn’t think it is at all fair that the dog gets to go outside regularly and he doesn’t. The cats agree with Gregory. They have been spending most of their day in higher locations around the house, watching the dog’s every movement. The dog is very calm and gentle and doesn’t seem to mind the commotion of our household at all.
I am looking forward to when we are living on our property and we can get a dog of our own!
As I have alluded to in a couple recent posts, Emma turned five last week. It seems so hard to believe that she is already five! Five seems much older than four somehow - a significant birthday. I don’t know if it is because we traditionally associate five with the start of school or if it is just because five seems like a round number (I tried to explain that concept to Emma recently and failed miserably). She’s enjoying being five and telling people that she’s her whole hand old now. 
Last year I decorated the house for her birthday the night before so she would wake up and be surprised… this year I asked her if she would like to be surprised again or if she’d like to help the morning of her birthday. Like most first-borns, she replied that she would rather not be surprised (I’m a first-born too, so I can symphatize). We spent the morning making paper hearts to hang in the window and putting up our various birthday decorations that we’ve accumulated. In the afternoon we made her birthday cake and her birthday dinner (mock ravioli and a salad with lots of stuff in it) and she got to play legos with her uncle for a little while. That is one problem with having your birthday on a holiday - especially a supposedly romantic one - your unmarried aunts and uncles want to go out and do romantic things instead of spending the evening with you!
Here’s Emma decorating her cake (lemon with lemon filling and vanilla frosting, just in case you were curious)
The finished product
And a close-up of our beautiful little girl
Now that I’ve either offended or convinced you all that I’ve gone off the deep end (or perhaps both) I thought I would change gears and do someting a little different. I’ve been wanting to start doing book reviews for awhile now, and now seems like a good time to start. I always enjoy reading book reviews on the blogs I read, so I might as well do it too.
This afternoon I finished reading outloud <a href=”http://www.amazon.com/Story-King-Arthur-Kingfisher-Epics/”>The Story of King Arthur</a>, retold by Robin Lister (Kingfisher Epics) and we really enjoyed it. It read outloud well, and while it was a retelling it was definitely not a dumbed down version with simplified vocabulary. This book is definitely not <a href=”http://members.aol.com/BeeME1/bookstore.html”>twaddle,</a>! The author gracefully handled the more unseemly parts of the story (for example, Mordred and Galahad’s conceptions) quite well by not skipping them entirely but also not going into too much detail. He (she? I have no idea and Google was no help) did an excellent job condensing the sweeping scope of the story into a very readable and approachable narrative.
The story was a little challenging for Emma (who just turned five) but she listened to the whole thing as if spell-bound. It was definitely just the thing for my little Arthurian obsessed girl who was hankering for something a bit more meaty and in depth to complement the (excellent) Tales of King Arthur illustrated books by Hudson Talbott that we have been checking out from the library.
I have been trying to wrap my mind around how to approach this and I feel like I’m almost there but I just can’t quite pull it altogether. If I were in school still I would be writing, pondering and rewriting but alas I don’t have the time available I had then. (Ah, if only I had made good use of that time - before I had a family and house to take care of! But I digress.)
OK, I’m going to take a stab at this and I apologize in advance for this being rough. Let’s start off with the quote that has been elevated to a position of fair importance in this course. “You have an obligation to follow your conscience, even if it is wrong.” (Dignitatis Humanae 3 S 2) The key here is to think about what your conscience is, and how your conscience is formed. There is a lot of wiggle room here! In class we were taught that we start with the 10 Commandments as a minimum. From there, it is a matter of evaulating every action - does this improve my relationship with God, or does it weaken my relationship with God? We have as resources the Scriptures and the Teachings of the Church to aid with this process, so that we don’t have to rely solely on speculation and trial and error, but ultimately we have to use our consciences to make moral decisions.
I think what my RCIA class is getting at is both right and wrong. I think they are right in stressing our responsibility to follow our well-formed consciences, but I think they are wrong in not giving us more information to help form our consciences. Not that everything needs to be covered in class (after all, there are time constraints!) but there should be more tie-ins to some of the excellent apologetics that exist about various points of Church teaching. The class really is at a very high level, and for the most part I think that is where it ought to be… however they should also provide resources for delving into the details. Like Dy said in her comment, “But even the most humble supplicant will not find what he seeks if he does not have access to the teachings God has given us specifically to guide us and help us grow.” The teachings are there, but for the most part you wouldn’t particularly know it from going through this class. I refuse to speculate as to why this is, but I think a resource list or two would be really helpful. I’m not certain by any means that most of the people going through RCIA would take the time to follow-up but at least it would be available if they chose - either now or in the future.
What I think my RCIA class is really trying to teach - and really not so much trying to teach but impress upon our hearts - is that God loves us unconditionally, and that we must do all that we can to turn towards this love and to be and show that love to the world around us. They are trying to impress upon us that God is not aloof and indifferent to humanity - not in the least. I am reminded of something that I just read in Crossing the Threshhold of Hope:
But God, who besides being Omnipotence is Wisdom and — to repeat once again — Love, desires to justify Himself to mankind. He is not the Absolute that remains outside of the world, indifferent to human suffering. He is Emmanuel, God-with-us, a God who shares man’s lot and participates in his destiny.” (Crossing the Threshhold of Hope, John Paul II, p. 62)
It is this love that we need to keep our eyes and hearts on - this love, and the saving grace that comes from it. Without this, there is no point, no point to any of this.
So where do we go from here? Without this love, we are nothing and none of this means anything. What do we do in return with this love? Do we turn and embrace it, giving back as much as we can possibly give, or do we turn away from it, freezing ourselves out? And how do we show that we are returning that love? Well, how do I, as a mother, expect my daughter to show her love for me? Does she show her love for me by cowering in fear, following my word because she is afraid of the consequences? No, she shows her love by listening to me thoughtfully and with due consideration to my word. She shows her love for caring about what I care about. She shows her love through her obdience to my rules. So how can we show that love to God? We can approach his living and incarnate Word, his only Son, with an open heart, a willness to learn and change, and a desire to obey his Word.
From this I think everything logically flows. Once I started approaching God and his Teachings through this framework, I started growing by leaps and bounds. When I first started down the path to faith, I would look at an issue and think, “This is stupid”, and there I would stop. After awhile I realized the limitations to this mode of thought (if you can really even call it that) and I started trying to at least have a slightly open mind. I started reading. Then I started reading some more. And gradually I argued and read myself into believing - no, knowing - that God is there. From there I tackled the issue of Christ and his Resurrection, because afterall, if you don’t have a Resurrection there is no point whatsoever to Christianity! Again, I approached this with an open mind and I added prayer. And then I got there… same goes with the Church Teachings. I generally start with “Wow, this is stupid” (and I’m still going through this process - I recently started wrestling with fasting, but that’s for another post) and then I read, ponder, read, pray, talk to myself, and read some more. And funny thing, I keep coming to terms with what the Church teaches, and I keep seeing more and more of the beauty and wholeness that the Church offers and how it all points to God and God’s love. And this is why, in part at least, I am entering the Catholic Church - because I have seen that it offers the most complete picture and beauty of the Christian faith. Between that and the Real Presence - how can I not hope to enter this Church?
And to all of you who have read this far - Amen, I say to you. And for all of you non-Catholics (and Catholics, for that matter) I have offended - well, this is all I have to offer
Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets (Luke 6:26)
The scene: The family room
The players: Gregory, standing at the coffee table, fussing
Amber, sitting on the couch across the room
“Gregory, do you want to come over the couch and be nursed?”
Gregory vehemently shakes his head no
“Gregory, do you want to stand there and fuss?”
Gregory nods yes as he bounces up and down
This morning after I took him out of his high chair I asked him where he wanted to go. He pointed so I took him in the direction he pointed. We then were standing in the entry and I asked him again where he wanted to go… this time he said quite clearly “outside”. I love this whole beginning communication thing! Kids are just great, even when they don’t want to fall asleep and it is almost two hours after their bedtime.
Emma, upon leaving the Ash Wednesday service and after several discussions about Lent and Ash Wednesday: “Mom, can we get a donut?”
After another conversation about Lent and Ash Wednesday, I think she got the connection. Parenting is such an interesting occupation - it certainly keeps you on your toes in so many different ways!
On a totally different note, I am very glad for liturgical seasons. I am really glad that it is Lent. It seems perhaps a little strange to say that, kind of like greeting someone with “Happy Ash Wednesday!” (which Emma did when my Mom came to the door) but upon further reflection it doesn’t seem quite so contridictory after all. We humans tend to dislike facing our short-comings, sins, and obsessions and we really don’t like the changes that are required to try and change our behaviors! This doesn’t seem like the attitude we should take though, rather we should be open and willing to examine our consciences and our foibles to try and get closer to God and to improve ourselves in our callings. Even though I am certainly no different than the average person in this regard, I am rather looking forward to this opportunity to dig in a little deeper and try to ferret out, examine, and work on something I feel is standing in the way of developing a closer relationship with God and in improving my commitment to my vocation as a wife and mother.
Granted, this sort of introspection and improvement could be done at anytime and without the prompting of the Church, but it certainly helps to be doing this in community. Having everyone around me going through this and having the liturgy and readings reinforce the themes of conversion, penitence, and God’s continual love for his people is a very powerful experience. I feel sad for the vast swath of Christianity that has abandoned these liturgical seasons, and I feel even more sad for those who are in liturgical churches and don’t appreciate the opportunity they have been given!
OK, I have some things I want to say in response to your comments in my last post, but I have more to say than I have time available to type it. :-) I’ve hardly even had a chance to look at my computer since Tuesday morning!
It has been a busy week, but Emma’s birthday was celebrated successfully, we’ve all been to the dentist, and we’ve also played at the park, visited a friend with a horse and goats, done most of our schoolwork, and even kept up with enough of the housework to keep things presentable. The kids are also mostly over their colds too, so that’s a big plus! Gregory is still a little drippy (and wow does he dislike tissues now!) but that’s about it. I also went to classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and now we’re off to Nevada City tonight. (Yes, any would-be burglars, we’ll be gone. Just feed the cats when you break in, and be sure to close the door behind you. Thanks.)
I hope you all have a great weekend and I’ll try and carve out some more time for writing next week!
On the whole, I think RCIA has been a good experience for me. It has given me a chance to speak regularly about faith and God, and it has been the first time in my life I’ve ever been able to regularly be with other Christians (other than going to church services). I feel like it has gotten easier for me to talk about and share my faith, and that is definitely a good thing.
My RCIA classes are somewhat frustrating though, because I sometimes feel like I am going to the church of Jiminy Cricket rather than the Catholic Church. They are always very careful to say that you should follow your “well-formed” conscience, but that can be a very nebulous concept. I understand the importance of a well-formed conscience, I just think that more (much more!) weight should be given to the teachings of the Bible and the Church. I feel like the teachings are seen and presented as general guidelines or pointers rather than starting points for proper moral formation. I feel like there is a sense that if you are not dissenting on something, then you must not be spending enough time thinking about the issues - sort of a paraphrase of the old bumpersticker - “if you aren’t dissenting, you aren’t paying attention!” I also feel like they don’t give the church’s teachings much of a fair shake when presenting things they disagree with - I think they are trying to be fair, but sometimes I feel like they haven’t really considered the fullness of the Church’s teachings. I had my second discernment meeting with my RCIA director yesterday, and I felt like I had to apologize for agreeing with Church teachings and for not having any major disagreements!
But all this being said, I do think they are trying to love God, and be that image of God to each other and the world. They really are trying to follow God, and follow God’s path for them. Even though they dissent sometimes from the Church, they have not been made bitter by this, and they are not angry dissenters. They love the Church, and for the most part don’t wish to see it change - they just want to preserve their ability to see things differently. I have learned some helpful things through this class, and the experience of discussing faith and getting to know some fellow Christians has been invaluable for me. Even with all this, I am glad I am going through RCIA at this parish, and I am thankful for all the time and effort the people in this church put into this program.
Emma and Gregory are both sick now. Not horribly sick, thank goodness, but more the snotty, fussy, coughing, grumpy variety of ick. Emma slept in until about nine (a sure sign she is not feeling well!) so things are off to a rather late start this morning. I didn’t get to run because Gregory woke up right when I woke up and wouldn’t go back down. Oh well, at least I was up at 6:30, that’s a step in the right direction. Currently he won’t nurse to sleep and won’t really sleep unless I am there with him, so less is getting done around the house… but on the upside I am getting in more reading time!
I think we’re still going to try to do homeschool block today, but we’ll do a light version instead - questions instead of narration, a math game instead of a page, and maybe just some word reading or an easy story rather than something from 100 Easy Lessons. When Emma is sick, her ability to focus on the task at hand and her patience both take a serious nose dive, so it is best not to push things too much.
I leave you with this thought from Mortimer Adler in Aristotle for Everybody - “Unfortunately, we seldom experience the pangs of ignorance as we feel the pangs of hunger.”