Godparents
I’m currently trying to figure out the whole Godparent thing. I will confess in this public space that my children are not baptized. *sigh* When I was baptized in 2003, the priest at the Episcopal church where I was baptized didn’t think I needed to rush into baptizing Emma when I asked about it (which, upon reflection, seems quite ridiculous… last I checked the Episcopal church does practice infant baptism! But there’s the Episcopal Church these days for ya) and then I went into church limbo and didn’t attend for awhile. Then I realized I was being called into the Catholic Church, and now two years later I am now Catholic. (it still feels a little strange to be able to say that, in case you were wondering) So, now I can finally get both of my children baptized… once I find some godparents for them.
Easier said than done, really. Do I go with the nice couple I’ve met through RCIA who I think are neat people and good Catholics, but who I’m not sure we’ll be able keep in contact after we move? Do I ask the male half of that couple who is in RCIA with me to be their godparent, then ask a (not exactly positive or even neutral on the Catholic church) family member to be an official witness? I also have some people I’ve recently become friends with who would probably be willing to do it - and I really hope to keep their friendship after we move - but they are all women. So do I just have one godparent for each child? And why don’t I have any male friends who are faithful Catholics? And what is it with men and religion these days, anyways? (OK, that’s off the topic, but still, it is an interesting question)
Yeah, the whole thing is a pain. On one hand I just want to get this over with so that my daughter and son can be baptized before we move, and on the other I want to make sure they have relationships with their godparents that are the most they can be. I’m pretty sure these goals are mutually exclusive, so I think I should probably just go with expediency over the desire for perfection… but then the whole mommy guilt thing kicks in (because what kind of bad mommy wants to short their children in anything? And what kind of bad mommy waits so long to have their children baptized? *sigh* mommy guilt is such a contradictory mess) and I start the cycle all over again.
And now I just noticed that it is 11:20 and I think I need to go to bed. Time to commit this to prayer (again) and sleep on it another night.
Emily on 04 May 2007 at 8:19 am #
Do the godparents have to be Catholic? I don’t know how that works in the Catholic church.
For us (in the Episcopal church) we went with family members who were either in the same church or at least liked our church.
We were blessed to have family members of that sort. If we hadn’t had them, we would have gone with good friends.
Another question: do you plan to have your godparents also be designated as the people your children would live with if you and Matt (God forbid) died when they were little? I know some people do that. We didn’t.
amber on 04 May 2007 at 8:32 am #
One Godparent has to be Catholic, and the other can be any baptized Christian - preferably one who isn’t too antagonistic towards the Catholic Church.
They should be of opposite sex and they should be faithful members of their church who attend regularly.
I wish I did have family members who liked my church, but alas that’s not the case. I’m glad that you had people you could easily call on though!
No, we don’t plan on having our godparents designated as caregivers in case something happens to us. We currently don’t have anyone specified for that, and while it is something we’ve talked about we haven’t come to any conclusions. *sigh*
Something else to worry about!
Jennifer F. on 07 May 2007 at 11:37 am #
Oh, I feel your pain! My children still aren’t baptized either. Ugh!
Also, I got some good advice on this topic in the comments to my posts here and here if you’re interested.
bearing on 11 May 2007 at 1:43 pm #
Each child only needs one godparent. (My youngest child only has one, her aunt, who is unmarried. And all your children can have the same godparent.)
That is why it is possible to have one Catholic and one non-Catholic stand up with you at the child’s baptism. For example, if you have a married couple, one of whom is Catholic, and the other a baptized non-Catholic, then the Catholic is technically the sole godparent. The non-Catholic is technically not a godparent but a witness.
Get it done ASAP, that’s my advice. If there are no “perfect” godparents available then choose the best person you can from whoever is willing.
I would not choose someone who’s still going through RCIA. Choose someone who is already in full communion with the church. Then just ask them to remember your children in their prayers.
Don’t wait for “the perfect opportunity.” Everybody needs baptism! Don’t delay any longer.
Cassandra on 28 Jul 2007 at 9:52 am #
Hi,
My brother and sister-in law recently asked my fiance and I to be the Godparents of their 2 month old son. My nephew will be baptized in the Catholic church which I am very happy about. We were both so flattered that we were asked. The problem is that I am baptized Episcopal and my fiance is not baptized at all. I know that the role of Godparents requires that they be active in helping their Godchild learn and grow in the Catholic faith which we are both more than willing to do. Although I am not baptized Catholic, I have attended a Catholic church with my grandfather, had my first communion there and also was confirmed there. Are we able to be the Godparents of my nephew? Does it depend on the priest?