Archive for June, 2007

Book Review: A Time of Gifts

I will start off saying that this book, A Time of Gifts by Patrick Leigh Fermor, is not for everyone. In order to appreciate this book (and I’m not saying that I was able to appreciate it to anywhere near its fullest potential) you need to have an excellent grasp of and love for the English language. You also need to have a fondness for the quirks of history, the beauty of the countryside, an appreciation of literature, and a keen interest in times gone by. If this at all describes you though, you’ll enjoy this book immensely. I wish I had a better knowledge of European geography, peoples, and literature - particularly that of Eastern Europe - because I know I would have enjoyed this book even more if that had been the case. This is a book that revealed to me the banality and superficiality of my Bachelor of Arts in History - something I was beginning to suspect but has now been firmly confirmed. *sigh* It isn’t entirely their fault, I wasn’t exactly a student who put my all into my work.

But enough with the self-flagellation this evening and onto a couple passages I thought I would share to give a small flavor of the book. To set the stage: The author is a young man who decides to walk from Holland to Constantinople in 1933. He does this because he’s been kicked out of various schools and decided against joining the peacetime military and can’t quite think of what else to do with himself. The first quote comes fairly early on in the book, when he describes how he would keep himself entertained as he walked through the German fields by reciting everything he’s ever memorized. The list is quite prodigious (especially compared to my own, which wold mainly consist of nursery rhymes, Broadway musicals, and Ani DiFranco lyrics, the later of which I can’t even listen to anymore and generally find irritating when it floats to the top of the flotsam of my brain) and I thought this bit at the end was excellent.

Song is universal in Germany; it causes no dismay; Shuffle off to Buffalo; Bye, Bye, Blackbird; or Shenandoah; or The Raggle Taggle Gypsies sung as I moved along, evoked nothing but tolerant smiles. But verse was different. Murmuring on the highway caused raised eyebrows and a look of anxious pity. Passages, uttered with gestures and sometimes quite loud, provoked, of one was caught in the act, stares of alarm. Regulus brushing the delaying populace aside as he headed for the Carthaginian executioner, as though to Lacedaemonian Tarentum or the Venafrian fields, called for a fairly mild flourish; but urging the assault-party at Harfleur to close the wall up with English dead would automatically bring on a heightened pitch of voice and action and double one’s embarrassment if caught. When this happened I would try to taper off in a cough or weave the words into a tuneless hum and reduce all the gestures to a feint at hair tidying. But some passages demand an empty road as far as the eye can see before letting fly. The terrible boxing-match, for instance, at the funeral games of Anchises when Entellus sends Dares reeling and spitting blood and teeth across the Sicilian shore - ‘ore ejectantem mixtosque in sanguine dentes’! - and then, with his thonged fist, scatters the steer’s brains with one blow between the horns - this needs care. As for the sword-thrust at the bridge-head that brings the great lord Luna crashing among the augurs like an oak-tree on Mount Alvernus - here the shouts, the walking-stick slashes, the staggering gait and the arms upflung should never be indulged if there is anyone within miles, if then. to a strange eye, one is drunk or a lunatic.

So it was today. I was at this very moment of crescendo and climax, when an old woman tottered out of a wood where she had been gathering sticks. Dropping and scattering them, she took to her heels. I would have liked the earth to have swallowed me, or to have been plucked into the clouds.

The next passage is very different in tone, and shows how foreign this Europe he was traipsing through is when compared to the Europe that has seen another World War and the rise and fall of communism (not to mention the beginnings of our new global age). Here the author is in the newly made Republic of Czechoslovakia and walking the streets of Bratislava.

Wandering in the back-lanes on the second day I was there, I went into a lively drinking-hall with the Magyar word VENDEGLO painted in large letters across the front pane and bumped into a trio of Hungarian farmers. Enmeshed in smoke and the fumes of plum-brandy with paprika-pods sizzling on the charcoal, they were hiccuping festive dactyls to each other and unsteadily clinking their tenth thimblefuls of palinka: vigorous, angular-faced, dark-clad and dark-glanced men with black moustaches tipped down at the corners of their mouths. Their white shirts were buttoned at the throat. They wore low-crowned black hats with narrow brims and high boots of shiny black leather with a Hessian notch at the knee. Hunnish whips were looped about their wrists. They might have just dismounted after sacking the palace of the Morovian kral.

My next call, only a few doors away, was a similar haunt of sawdust and spilt liquor and spit, but, this time, KRCMA was daubed over the window. All was Slav within. The tow-haired Slovaks drinking there were dressed in conical fleece hats and patched sheepskin-jerkins with the matted wool turned inwards. They were shod in canoe-shaped cowhide moccasins. Their shanks, cross-gartered with uncured thongs, were bulbously swaddled in felt that would only be unwrapped in the spring. Swamp-and-conifer men they looked, with faces tundra-blank and eyes as blue and as vague as unmapped lakes which the plum-brandy was misting over. But they might just as well have been swallowing hydromel a thousand years earlier, before setting off to track the cloven spoor of the aurochs across a frozen Trans-Carpathian bog.

I wonder what happened to these people in all that was to come in the ensuing years? Reading his descriptions of cities like Vienna and Munich - cities I’ve visited - was amazing and heartbreaking because they very well might have been completely different cities. 75 years separate us, but in that period of time Europe has been unmade, remade, and remade again.

The Wrong Kind of Examination of Conscience

Virtually every time I finish some sort of prolonged interaction with a person or people who are not members of my immediate family, I find myself combing over the occasion to point out any and all social fais pas or awkward things I said or did. I then proceed to feel extremely embarrassed and sometimes even guilty about them and stew over them for longer than seems wise, completely blowing them out of all proportion. I’m not exactly the greatest person at the whole social interaction thing, and while examining the stupid things I do when being around others can be useful in trying to make sure I don’t do them again (and I don’t tend to make the same mistake more than once or twice), it still seems a little ridiculous. I’m at least not so mortified over things like this that I lose sleep over it or let it virtually paralyze me with fear and embarrassment like it used to do (thank goodness!!) but still…

I think one of the biggest reasons I commit these social fais pas is because I’m not always as attentive as I should be during social occasions. I tend to always have at least a little bit of secondary thought going on that really shouldn’t be there, which makes my conversation reflexes a little slower and awkward than they should be at times. It also makes me put my foot in my mouth upon occasion. I’m doing a lot better about it in general, but there are times… I don’t know if part of this stems from the whole introvert thing or what but I’m tired of it!

Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this, ok? :-)

[edited to fix spelling - oops] 

Some Thoughts on Frugality

I was listening recently to a podcast of Heart, Mind & Strength radio recently and the focus in the first part was on budgeting. I liked what Rachel Watkins had to say about making sure that your keeping your priorities in mind when you’re figuring out your budget - i.e. being able to keep someone at home with the kids, being able to work at something you truly enjoy rather than a job that pays a lot but isn’t fulfilling in other ways - but I always find it somewhat annoying that suggestions on how to trim down a budget always revolve around reducing the money spent on frappuccinos, dry cleaning, breakfasts and snacks on the road and other completely unnecessary expenses. Generally the mandatory expenses like your rent/mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc. are considered sacrosanct. I find this very misleading though, because generally just cutting out the truly frivolous expenses like those mentioned previously are not going to make going from one income to two incomes work. And if they do, well, yikes that is a lot of money to be throwing away every month!

I think that in order to make our priorities happen, we have to be willing to look at everything.  The whole mindset and attitudes we have about our perceived needs and wants has to change. We need to be willing to examine even those sacrosanct items like our living situations, utility use, gas use, grocery budget, everything.    I think that a lot of people spend far more on these things than they need to, but since they are considered “mandatory expenses” they don’t often stop to consider if they should be buying that house, living in a house that size (with the corresponding increase in utility costs and upkeep), renting that nice apartment, driving that particular car or even living in that particular part of the state or country.  These changes are not easy short-term changes like cutting out the frappuccinos, but they are the changes that can make lasting change and make it possible for our deeply held priorities to actually become realities.

I know some would argue that there is a quality of life issue - that they wouldn’t want to live in a smaller house, rent rather than own, eat more simply, live somewhere else, etc.  However, from the perspective of someone who has done all these things so that we could have me home and save for a house I think the sacrifices are well worth it.

What I find particularly surprising and interesting in this is that once we got used to this new lifestyle, it started to feel rather abundant in its own way. The way we used to live now seems ridiculously extravagant. Matt and I were talking about this last night, when we decided to jettison our plans for a broccoli tofu stir-fry in favor of steak. About once every four to six weeks we do this - we abandon our frugal dinner plans for something more out of the ordinary. We tend to eat meat only about once a week, and even then it generally is in a crock-pot dish or some sort of casserole.  Because of this, Matt occasionally gets a hankering for a steak or some other big chunk o’ meat.

In how we used to live, we would have just gone out to dinner, ordered a bottle of wine and whatever we wanted, paid the tab (probably $50-$60) and been on our way. At this point in our lives, the very thought of doing this is laughable. We might do something like this once a year on our anniversary, if that. It just isn’t in the budget and really, we don’t miss it.

What we do instead works really well for us, costs at least a third of the price, and is a much better experience for the whole family. What we did was we went out to the grocery store, bought a big steak (well, for us at least), a nicer bottle of wine than what we usually get, green beans, a loaf of sourdough and some smoked gouda cheese. When we got home, we sliced up the bread & cheese for an appetizer while we made dinner as a family. The kids got to run around rather being confined to their chairs as in a restaurant and Matt and I got to spend some nice time together in the kitchen (which we always enjoy!). The meal turned out really well and a good time was had by all. (And wow can Gregory eat steak! I think he ate more than I did) The total cost, including what it cost for the things I had on hand? Probably about $18 - quite a bit better than what it would have cost at a restaurant. And we had a lot more leftovers too!

Even though this is an extraordinary amount for us to spend on one meal, it seems a far more frugal choice than the other option. Of course we could have just stuck to our dinner plan and had our broccoli, tofu and rice while wishing we were eating something else entirely… and sometimes that’s what we do. But I think that it isn’t unreasonable to build in a little space in the budget for splurges like this, especially when they are thought of as splurges and therefore are all the more appreciated and enjoyed.

What I find most remarkable about this though is that in our previous way of life, this would have been considered a poorer and more meager choice - whereas in truth it was far richer and more rewarding than anything we could have done back then.

Baptism, part II

The baptism was wonderful. It was a small service, as our 5:30 vigil service usually is, but there were people there I knew (beyond my family, of course) which was nice. I didn’t manage to get any pictures taken, and frankly, I’m glad. I forgot to assign the camera to anyone beforehand, and in the midsts of things I was completely focused on what was happening. I’m glad about that though, because I know I will have some really strong visual images in my mind from this, and I don’t want them to be diluted by images from the less intimate third person perspective.

The kids both did really well, although Gregory squawked a bit at being held over the font for his dousing. I love the smell of the oil they use, I kept sniffing Gregory’s head all evening. :-) I was tempted to delay in washing his hair, but then we went to Chinese food afterward and he smelled more like sweet and sour sauce than balsam, so I figured it was better just to let it go.

I would say more, but it is hard to put the images in my mind into words. Besides, I need to start on dinner and go wake up a baby who is taking a marathon nap (much to Matt’s dismay, since I’m off to bookgroup tonight and he’s taking care of the kids!) Everything was great though, and most of all I’m so glad that it is done and I no longer feel guilty that my children are not baptized!

P.S.  Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement!

Fluff

Since everyone else is doing it, I thought I might as well too. :-)

You scored as Col. Brandon, Your husband/boyfriend is most like Col. Brandon of Sense & Sensibility! He is very attuned to your tastes and enjoys sharing them with you. While he resists being flashy, he is very generous, though he will never be overbearing, even if he is correct. The two of you engage in many pursuits together and enjoy a romantic, steady relationship.

Darcy
 
80%
Col. Brandon
 
80%
Edward Ferrars
 
70%
Edmund Bertram
 
65%
Knightley
 
55%
Tilney
 
50%
Captain Wentworth
 
40%

Who is Your Jane Austen Boyfriend/Husband?
created with QuizFarm.com

That actually isn’t too bad of an assessment, although my husband is far more handsome that whoever this guy is. I’m sure my husband will know - he’s good at stuff like that! [update - Oh, duh, that’s Alan Rickman! I knew he looked familiar, but it took a trip to IMdB to remind myself. See, I told you I’m bad at that sort of thing]  I think it is rather funny that he tied with Darcy.  LOL.

I’m not familiar with this character though, because I haven’t read Sense & Sensibility. The only Austen books I’ve read are Pride and Prejudice and Emma, and while I loved P&P, I wasn’t so overly fond of Emma such that I immediately needed to seek out more Austen books to read. I have been meaning to rectify that, I just haven’t gotten around to it…

Baptism

Emma and Gregory are going to be baptized tomorrow!  Emma and I are very excited about it, and we’ve been looking forward to it for quite some time.  I ended up asking a friend from my homeschool group to be their godmother, and I’m really pleased that I did.

A surprising number of my family are coming to this baptism, which I did not expect.  I didn’t expect it because I’m the only Catholic around, and practically the only Christian in my family as well.  Everyone else is either there because they have to be (like Matt) or because they view it as some sort of rite of passage like a graduation, and they want to be there because of their affection for the children.  My family is the type that, by and large, would feel the same about going to this baptism as they would about going to a pagan naming ceremony where I was dedicating my children to Gaia or something.  (Some of my family would probably prefer attending the latter!)  I have a hard time understanding this, since I would not do the same.  I suppose it is best not to focus on this though and be glad that they’ll be with us on this day, no matter what their motivation.  But still, I can’t help being a little sad and a little wistful about it all.  There are times when I very much envy those of you in Christian marriages and Christian families.  I hope you appreciate what you have!

Quotes from Emma

Scene:  Emma and I are working at the table - she’s doing a math review page and I’m working on my latin.  Gregory is in the high chair, smearing himself with yogurt and having a lovely time.

Emma, with a wistful sigh:  I wish this math page would turn into latin grammar…

And as I was typing this, Gregory (scrubbed clean of yogurt) started to climb into Emma’s chair as she was correcting a problem.  Emma shouted out, “Mommy, I’m being besieged by another king!”

A Date has been set!

Matt and I were talking this morning and we have set a tenative moving date.  We’re thinking we’re going to move the weekend of July 21-22nd.  Ideally I’d like to move sooner than that, like the first weekend in July, but I think that it is just pushing things a little too much.  We have a lot going on at the end of June/beginning of July and to add a move just seems a bit much.  Besides, while it seems we have things lined up for a pump on the property and an office for Matt, nothing is final.  The well pump installation may take longer than anticipated or something may happen with the office space or something else entirely might happen.  However, it is exciting to finally have a date set!

For the Children’s Sake quote - Responsibility to Children

I haven’t been reading any more of For the Children’s Sake recently, largely because I’ve been chewing on a particular passage. I’ve held off on posting it because I’ve been hoping that something will come to me about it, but now I feel like I should go ahead and post it. I don’t have any brillant commentary to offer, but perhaps someone else out there would like to say something.

Sadly, our fast-moving generation is often so involved in the rat race that this gentle art of understanding, appreciating, and loving the child has a chance to practiced by mother, father, or anyone else. We have to set our priorities straight. Can we serve God’s lambs wholeheartedly while we are being consumed with career demands? When there is no parent who makes it his business to understand the individual child, and the people whose job it is to care for him treat him as part of their career, perhaps the only place where that child will find understanding is in the counselor’s office for one hour a week.

The Christian community is confronted by countless children whose parents do not fulfill their duty and privilege. It is our duty then, under God, to try to provide that considerate and loving authority which the child is lacking. We may not be able to provide a perfect substitute for the ideal of a caring family, but that shouldn’t stop us from doing something. Remember that even one stumbling-block removed from a child’s path counts. (For the Children’s Sake, p. 48-49, emphasis hers)

The first paragraph I get, and I completely agree with its sentiments. The second… well, I feel somewhat torn. I’m not sure how that is supposed to work. Part of me feels like I should just be trying to do the best job I can with my children and focus exclusively on them, because after all, they are my responsibility! But then again, I know that we are not supposed to just wall ourselves off, saying essentially, “well, I have mine so tough luck for the rest of you!” Somehow I don’t think Christ would be particularly impressed by that sentiment. But then again, I would loathe to be derelict in my duties as a mother to my children in trying to serve others. That certainly has been the failing of many (Pearl S. Buck’s parents comes immediately to mind) Obviously there needs to be some sort of balance there, but I have no idea what that balance is, or how I fit into this whole idea. I know right now I’m not doing much, if anything, to uphold this, and I’m trying to figure out what to do about that.

An Addendum - I’d like to say that I’ve been praying about this, but I haven’t.  I’ve just been thinking about it.  I know that this isn’t the best course of action…  but I think I’m scared to pray about it because of the answer I might get.   *sigh*

Goofy

I was looking through my recent photos to put up something from last weekend, when I found this one that I thought was too funny not to share.

goofy.jpg

Emma is dancing, in case you’re wondering.  Gregory is wearing Emma’s apron, a shirt, and a diaper, trying to see what his silly sister is doing.  The kids were both helping me make a quiche, although helping might be too strong of a word.  :-)

And why is it my kitchen always looks like such a mess whenever I post a picture of it?  I guess I am just one of those people who make a big mess whenever I cook.  Or maybe it has to do with the amount of counterspace I have available.  I think I’ll go with that rationalization.  *grin*

Next Page »