Rutabaga Dreams

What a week and it is only Wednesday! I have good news to report though - we have an apartment, and we can move in this weekend. Matt’s working on Saturday, so I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to be moving in, but I’m sure I’ll figure out something.

The guys we hired and Matt are making excellent progress on the house - as of last night they had the 1st floor of the north, west, and part of the south wall up. It is really neat to see the house come together like this, and I really can’t imagine how we could have gotten it done without hiring a crew.

Matt and I also met with some midwives yesterday and we decided we’d go ahead and work with them. They are both very nice women and we like their model of practice. They are very much in the “we’ll give you the information and you get to decide what to do with it” sort of mindset, and that works well for us. They seem quite laid back and knowledgeable, without being controlling or know-it-all. (And yes, I’ve seen that kind of midwife too - that was my first experience with midwives, unfortunately, when I had Emma)

Matt’s grandparents have been moving this week (we moved stuff yesterday, and furniture movers are there today) so that has been very busy and chaotic. The kids are about to come unglued from all this change and uncertainty (and I think I’m not far behind) but hopefully everything well have a chance to settle again into some routines once we are in the apartment. We got up this morning, stripped the beds and packed up the bathroom stuff then headed to IHOP for a gigantic breakfast. The kids were a little strung out this morning (Gregory wasn’t certain he wanted to let his blankie or me get out of his sight, and Emma felt the same way, I think) but after being sated they seemed much better. It also helped get us all out of the way. We’re currently hanging out at the office, making calls, playing computer games, and scattering stuff all over the floor of the office. I’ll let you guess who’s doing what.

Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging words on the last post. I very much appreciate it.

Oh, and I don’t know how I forgot to mention this when I was writing this post… I had the most fantastic experience at Mass on Sunday. You know how I mentioned we were going to the 11am Mass in my last post? Well, it is a new Mass time at my favorite little church in the parish (there are three churches in my parish, btw) and we hadn’t been to it before. Imagine my surprise when after the entrance song (a good, solid hymn rather than something like the Marty Haugen and David Haas fluff we are frequently subjected to) the priest did the Sign of the Cross and said, “In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.” My mouth literally dropped open and I was barely able to do the Sign of the Cross myself. I had mostly recovered my wits enough to stumble out, as proper, “Et cum spititu tuo.” at the appropriate time. I was immediately filled with such an indescribable rush of joy that I all could do was just blink back the tears and whisper, “Thank you, Lord!” I’m sure to many/most/all of you out there who might be reading this that this makes no sense whatsoever - why should the language matter - and why should Latin (a dead language, right? ) make such a difference and make me so happy? I really can’t explain it, actually, and I’m not going to try at the moment. Suffice to say, I was thrilled. Emma caught on at the Gloria and whispered to me as she looked at the missal “Mom, look, it is in Latin! See, Deus, Domini, nomine, I know these words!” (Yay, Prima Latina, btw) and she was very pleased as well. It turned out to be sort of a hybrid Latin Mass because the Eucharistic prayer was in English but he used the longer version (which I think I’ve only heard a couple times before) and there were some additional prayers as well. It was a very wonderful, reverent, and contemplative Mass and I think perhaps the best part was that the choir didn’t sing during Communion. Now, I like the choir and a good choir is very important, but being able to focus on Communion and being able to pray without distraction (ok, well, as close as I get when holding a squirmy almost 2-yr old while kneeling) was beautiful. The priest’s homily was also very good - as Mrs. Lynde would say, his theology was sound. *grin* I left the Mass feeling renewed and fed in a way that was more than what I usually feel when leaving Mass - and that’s saying a lot! There was no announcement in the bulletin or anything about this, and the priest who was there is from another parish, but from some of the things he said in his homily I think he’s been assigned this Mass. I’m going to go again this week to the same Mass, and I’m hoping it will be similar. I don’t know why nothing was said in the bulletin or anything… but that’s one thing I’ve noticed about churches (and not just Catholic ones), they just seem to assume that everyone knows everything that’s going on already. Just one more reason for joy in my life right now - life is full of blessings, isn’t it?

Wow, it has been almost a month since I’ve posted last.  I have a lot to say, but not a lot of computer time in order to say it…  and I’ve been so tired it has been hard to try and sort it into some sort of coherence.  I still can’t exactly hope for coherence, but since I’ve gotten tired of writing blog posts in my head when I can’t sleep in the middle of the night I figured I would at least get something posted and perhaps my nocturnal brain ramblings can fix on something else.

So, let me see.  First off, I’m pregnant.  Matt and I are really happy about this, and we do know how this happens, thank you very much.  :-)  And while we both somewhat wish there was a way for me to gestate without it affecting me physically or emotionally, we’re  very much looking forward to meeting this new little person sometime in early June.

The main drawback of the pregnancy so far, other than the fatigue of course, is that I’ve become horribly smell sensitive.  My pregnant body has decided that the trailer smells absolutely and horribly repulsive.  To top things off, I’ve also become quite claustrophobic about the trailer, making it virtually impossible for me to be in the trailer, much less actually do anything useful in there like cook or do dishes or even sleep.  After struggling with that for several weeks (and repeating to myself “It is all in your head, it is all in your head” over and over again, which then would inadvertently turn into “I’m going to die, I’m going to die” without me noticing) I finally gave up and started staying at other people’s houses for the night.  I was first at a friend of the family where my MIL was house-sitting, then we were able to move to Matt’s grandparents.  Emma and Gregory and I have been staying there every night since approximately the beginning of the month.  I’m much less tired since we started doing this, and I has helped with the nausea quite a bit.  However, it means that we only see Matt during the day when we’re out working on the property (he’s taking Nov. off to work on the house).  He doesn’t have any problem with the trailer at all - he’s reverted to Matt the Mountain Man (albeit one who lives on frozen pizza, burritos, and spaghetti rather than varmit stew) but it works perfectly well for him.  The kids and I miss him though, and the situation is a little lonely at times for him too.  It is very strange to see him during the day then have to say good-bye to go off to our respective dinners and beds - quite the opposite of what most daddy and family relationships are like!

So, that brings me to the next point, trying to figure out what’s next.  We need to be moving on from Matt’s grandparents soon, and we really need to figure out a way for the family to be together more - especially since Matt is going to be going back to work the first full week of December.  Our options, as I see them, are to either a) move back to the trailer, b) get a different trailer and move into that on the property, or c) find someplace else to rent for awhile.  I’m leaning towards c), since the whole trailer thing makes me feel ill and panicky at this point.  I feel that I have reached my limit in regards to what I can take, and I’m not feeling all that happy about it.  I had always had my suspicions that I probably could not have made it as a pioneer wife, and now I feel quite certain about this.  Oh well, I’m a wuss, there’s no two ways about it.  *sigh*

I started looking for apartments a couple days ago and I have a few leads.  I am having trouble getting a hold of people, but I imagine that once people are back from the Thanksgiving holiday it should get easier.  I’m hoping to find something in the next week or two.  We don’t have a lot of money for this, but I’m hoping to at least find something with washer/dryer hook-ups and maybe even two bedrooms.  I’d be perfectly happy with one (throw the kids in the bedroom w/ bunks and their toys, and put a futon in the main room for Matt and me) but I’m not entirely sure that someone is going to be willing to rent a one bedroom to a family of 4.  I think it is worth a try at least though, if it can save us some money.

And speaking of money, we’ve recently been offered a way to dig ourselves further into debt, and we’ve decided to take it.  This will allow us not only to pay for the things that we absolutely need (like, you know, lumber and siding - yes, we had budgeted for that, but everything ends up being far more expensive than it was quoted as) but also hire some help for putting up the walls.  We realized that if we were going to just rely on ourselves as well as occasional volunteer labor, it would most likely be years before we’d be in the house.  Really, this whole owner/builder thing is not the greatest situation.  Either you need to a) build something very small and cheap (preferably somewhere with lenient/non-existent building codes and cheap land) or b) be ok with working on the project for years.  I really only think b) works if you don’t have kids and you are fortunate enough to have a fairly reasonable living situation in the years where you’re building.  Otherwise, really, I think it is a completely insane endeavor.   And since weren’t smart enough to do a) and b) is clearly not going to fit our circumstances, we opted for c), which dig a bigger hole and hire some people to help get it done.  After all, its only money, right?  *sigh*

Well, on that note it is time to get off the computer and get to church.  We got out of the house too late to make it to the 9:30 Mass, but I decided to keep the out of the house momentum going and we went to the office to wait for the 11 am Mass.  We didn’t get to shower last night (and we needed it!) so our whole morning routine took longer than it generally does - especially since I still haven’t completely adjusted to the additional time it takes to get Gregory ready to go.

I hope all of you who are still reading this are doing well, and that your lives are less crazy and chaotic than mine is.